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Randall's hands trembled as he pulled out a string of bright red beads, part of the junk he had purchased on
Henri's expert advice, and handed them to Heru. She made the proper gushing noises of delight, put the
beads around her neck, then hugged Randall. He turned a slight pink as he awkwardly tried to back away,
touched her breasts in doing so, and then his face became lobster red. Happily, Heru didn't laugh.
Henri said, Now, Monsieur Randall, since these people welcomed you, and it is amazing, most natives do
not take to whites, I will ask the acting chief where he wants you to to stay. He turned to Eddie and asked in
Tahitian, Everything all right?
Yes, you miserable flea!
What's the matter with you? Motion with your hands, like you are giving him the island.
He can have this hunk of sand right up his nose!
Henri tried to smile. This is business, you fool!
The cemeteries are full of businessmen, remember that! Eddie said. He turned to Randall and pointed to
the sand, then waved his hand about.
Henri told Randall, I now translate. Acting chief say island is yours. You are to stay in the big hut, as
honored guest. He say perhaps you are tired from your trip and like to rest. You go to hut and soon Chief and
daughter bring you papaya juice and many cool fruits to eat.
He doesn't have to go to any trouble, Randall said, his eyes trying to stay off Hem's bosom.
My dear sir, this is not trouble but the real how you say hospitality of the old islands. He will feel
insulted if you refuse. Cap-a-tan Ray and myself will retire to the boat for a rest.
I sure don't want to insult the Chief. Say, will it be all right if I take some pictures? Randall asked.
Henri told Eddie in Tahitian, We have his money, don't blow the deal.
Eddie said, Tell him he's going to be able to get a picture of me busting your face!
Heru said, Talk, talk it is hot out here.
Henri looked at me and I told Randall, They say you can take pictures but don't be too obvious about
it.
Henri picked up Randall's bag and followed Eddie to the hut, Randall and Heru walking behind them, the
air full of the heady scent of the tiare blossoms in her hair. At the entrance Henri turned and called out to Jack
Pund, You, bring the food in from the ship!
Pund and I got into his canoe, paddled out to the Hooker, the old man saying, This is crazy business.
When we make movie and where is my ash tray?
In time we shall make a picture. The ash tray was purchased but by accident left behind in Papeete. You'll
get it.
I gave him the food, told him to give it to Eddie right away and he looked at the case of beer with big eyes,
said he would dig a cool hole in the sand to store that at once.
Back on the beach Eddie and Henri waited for the canoe full of food. Eddie helped unload it as Henri
rowed the dinghy out and jumped on deck, wiping his face and asking, That Eddie, he nearly screwed the
works. What's wrong with him?
72
South Pacific Affair
I don't know, or maybe it's too long a story to tell you now. I'm turning in. I need sleep.
We have nothing to do now but wait. We should have charged more.
He would have gone for five hundred but you were so intent on your act, you didn't give him a chance.
Henri shrugged, said in a grave voice, One learns by experience.
I checked the anchor, put a mat in the shade of the cabin, and went to sleep. I slept for a few hours and
awoke when the sun hit my face. I moved the mat and while eating an orange, saw Randall in a pair of yellow
swimming trunks yelling like a child as Eddie and Heru showed him how to spear the bright-colored reef fish.
Eddie seemed to be enjoying it, too.
I knocked off a few more hours of shut-eye and awoke to find Eddie shaking my shoulder. Eddie said,
Your eye looks better. How was the trip?
Nothing to it. What did you do to Heru? She looks like something out of a book.
Eddie smiled. I didn't do anything to her. Just let her sleep and take it easy. Burns me up, a louse like
Henri making money off such a pretty kid.
I sat up and looked at the islet no one was in sight. What's playing now?
Randall is sleeping. The sun and running around pooped him. Heru is sleeping by herself. Jack got to a
couple of bottles of beer, and he's sleeping. The pimp is pounding his ear up near the bow. I have cooking
stones heating in the fire pit and in a little while I'll shake Jack awake and start the 'feast.' This is sure sticky,
us islanders doing all the work.
Hell, it's only an act. Tomorrow we pull out.
You get the dough?
I nodded. Have our half in my pocket.
Eddie sat down and lit a cigar a Stateside one he must have got from Randall. Henri is a boy with real
ideas. According to Heru he has an angle working he forgot to tell us. Plans to get the address of a guy like
Randall and in a couple of months write him, in Heru's name, saying she is going to have a baby soon his.
Blackmail?
Eddie shook his head, blew out a fog of smoke. Not exactly, rather a polite request for money to help out.
She supposedly plans to go to a hospital in Papeete. Then maybe a note once a year thereafter, a gift for the
'young prince on his birthday.' With a dozen Randalls kicking in say, a hundred bucks a year, this would be a
long-range jackpot for Henri.
That's a ratty deal.
Eddie stared down at me through a crooked smoke ring. And what does it make us? Cats? More I see of
Henri, less I like him and I didn't care for him to start. Eddie stood up and flexed his muscles. Guess I'd
better get back and start the food going. When do you think this slob will leave?
Sometime tomorrow. He isn't a bad sort.
This is a slimy deal and you're all smiles.
I'm feeling all smiles about something else.
That guy you belted?
Yeah. I've been wanting to wallop him for a long time. And he isn't a bad sort, either.
All the world is one big chum for you, it seems. Eddie shook his head. I don't know whether to feel
sorry for Randall or bat him in his fat gut. The way he acts, as if this was real, he'd expect the islanders to fall
all over him because he's a fat popaa with a few lousy trinkets.
Guess he means well. He just read to many phony books.
The islanders never read the books but they still get the wrong end of the stick. Got any rum?
No.
Good, Eddie said. Heru is itching for a shot, but beer will hold her. You're right, we're in this and we
might as well take the dough. But this is the last time for me. See you when it gets dark.
Yes sir, acting chief.
We both laughed and when Eddie paddled ashore I jumped over for a fast swim, then found more shade on
the deck and went back to sleep. Henri awoke me. The feast is about ready.
It was twilight and I stared up at his sweaty shirt, dirty tie, the yellowed linen suit, asked, Don't you ever
put on clean clothes, take a bath?
73
South Pacific Affair
He swore in French. What is eating you and your partner? All I get is insults.
I sat up and slipped on my pants and a light sweater. I was merely asking a polite question. By the way,
don't let Heru lap up the beer. It's supposed to be a novelty to her according to the script.
I will handle that bitch.
Bitch? I repeated, pulling in the dinghy. No way to talk about your meal ticket.
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