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That hurt even his posturing couldn't hide the fact that leaving Osprey,
writhing on the floor, covered in Green's symbols, crying out his name had
been a bigger act of cowardice and desertion than even Goshawk could bear. "My
friends are not worthy of me," he whined, his voice near tears.
"Now see, there's where we differ." I looked up at Nicky and nodded him
towards me. "My friends are more than I've ever asked for. I give thanks to
both God and Goddess every day for my friends. And in spite of the fact that
we started off with betrayal, I'll never regret the day Nicky became a part of
my life." I looked up at Nicky and smiled, my face cold and angry but not at
Nicky, and he knew that. "You remember, Nick? Remember when our relationship
really started to change?
Nicky nodded, and I was pretty sure he knew where I was going with this. "I
remember, he said grimly. "It was the night I tried to kiss you. Do you
remember Goshawk?
"It was the night you failed, Goshawk said, trying to sound stern, but Mario
and La Mark had picked up on what I had planned, and they knelt by us too.
"It was the night that saved our lives, Goshawk, Mario said gently. "My only
regret was that it was my life that was saved and not Beth's. She would have
loved this, you know. She would have kicked your skull into pulp she was
protective that way.
"She was a woman," Goshawk muttered. "She wasn't worth your skills, my child,
you're better off without her.
I held out my hand, because Mario was tensing up like he would be the one to
kick Goshawk's skull into pulp, and I kind of needed his brains where they
were. "No one who has truly loved could really think that, I said quietly.
"Your beloved, all those years ago, was better off with the Goddess than she
ever would have been with you. And God doesn't admit you exist, so even your
misogynistic worship is self-defeating. No. I bless the day Nicky came into my
life, and in a moment you will too, won't he guys?
"How far back do you want us to go?" Nicky asked, eyes flat. He looked like
such a school boy I thought sadly, with his preppy, spiky rust colored hair
and his yellow-green eyes. How sad that he should know exactly what I was
thinking, even in the midst of my bloodlust.
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"Back to the beginning, I said with certainty. "He thought his love would be
better off without life let's see how he is without memories of her. He's a
six-hundred year old virgin it's like he cut himself off before he even began.
Let's see if he learns something this time around.
"Should we leave him some modern references?" La Mark asked, dabbing at his
neck with the collar of his shirt. He needn't have bothered Grace is a very
neat eater but I was surprised by the question.
"You can do that?" I almost whispered. I mean, I'd been all bad-assed and
serious before, like I knew what I was talking about. I didn't want to
announce to all of them that really I'd been making this up as I went along.
"We can release the ones that aren't his, too, Mario said quietly. "They'll
go back to where they belong.
My heart felt like it had sprung from a cage. "Mine too?" I whispered for
real. "My memories too?
Nicky, crouched right next to me, put his hand on my cheek, leaned forward and
kissed me, gently on the lips. It didn't feel like Adrian, or Bracken, or
Green, but it didn't feel like a brother's kiss either. It was a start. "I
guarantee it, sweetie.
"Yes, I said with shining eyes to all of them. "Leave him some modern
references, so he doesn't go mad. Release the stolen memories back into the
world for better or worse, they belong to other people." I bit my lip then.
"But does that mean you'll be stuck with& " I wrinkled my nose. "Eww& " They all
looked at me in surprise. "Won't you have& that& " I made a shooing motion with
my hand, "Crawling around in your brains? Ick!" I could tell by their
horrified expressions that they hadn't thought about keeping Goshawk's
memories for their own.
"We could give them to Osprey, Bracken said grimly, coming up behind me and
resting his large, warm hands on my shoulders. The contrast to the night air
reminded me that it was fucking cold out here, and I was wearing a backless
evening gown and shredded thigh highs. For the first time in a half an hour I
also remembered that I was going without underwear, and blessed that I'd
rather shred my new dress than crouch on my feet because no one got a crotch
shot including Goshawk.
But Bracken's suggestion cheered the Avians quite a lot. "Osprey& Nicky said
dreamily. "That son of a bitch deserves his contempt&
"He's had a hard-on for Goshawk for years& Mario said darkly.
"And Goshawk let him kiss his ass and sneered at him behind his back& " La Mark
chimed in. "And Osprey did his most sadistic crap to& Seth. And everybody like
him." The three of them nodded, in perfect agreement. Osprey, it seemed, was
about to get his comeuppance.
"Perfect, Nicky said in a voice dark with evil. "We'll do it.
"You can't." Goshawk had heard our conversation without a word, as it should
be with the cold nose of a .45 pressed into your skull, but I'd relaxed my
grip and clicked the safety back on as the boys were talking, and now he
started thrashing about in panic. "Please& Goddess& " he begged me, and I
wondered if he was calling me Goddess, or finally reverting to the true faith
of Her children and I didn't give a shit. I unclicked the safety and he shut
up again.
"They'll do it or I'll kill you, you sniveling coward, I said evenly,
possessing in that moment the pure joy of knowing that I had killed before and
that I would do it now again. "If you think I'm lying, ask Bracken.
"She's killed vampires by the dozens, he said casually, heavy hand still on
my shoulder. "You're like a fly on a window.
"You won't be able to," he whined. "I have too many memories. Too much power.
Nicky guffawed. "And I have Green's entire collective to back me up. Let's see
who wins okay?
The three young men prepared to put their hands on Goshawk, and as I
remembered from Nicky's treacherous kiss, that's all it took. The touch of a
friend, the blood rushing in your ears, and a song of betrayal. Or vengeance.
I went to put my hand on Nicky's shoulder, wobbled, coughed and was suddenly
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in Bracken's arms. I was not surprised enough to drop my gun however and I
clicked the safety and held it out rather awkwardly to Grace, who took it
before it could harm Bracken.
"Nicky needs me& I said.
"So much of your power is in the air right now it could light up San Fran,
Oakland, and half the peninsula, Bracken said darkly, after stepping away
from Grace and the gun. "As is my power as well, so don't worry about bleeding
out through your feet and knees because I can smell the blood on you. But
you're shivering uncontrollably, and the Avian's have dark business here that
is best done on their own. It's time to get you inside.
"I'm not afraid of dark business!" I complained. "I want to see this through& "
My voice trailed off in a cough that took my whole body and I wanted to stamp
my foot. Didn't I deserve to see this through? Then the boys made contact with
Goshawk's body, and the marital link between Nicky and I snapped into place
and it felt like I was pumping blood from my body, the energy drain was that
quick. Even mighty Bracken's knees wobbled, and Goshawk screamed and fought
and cried, and just when I thought my vision would go black the screaming
stopped, and the boys made a sound, a collective gasp, a groan, the orgasmic
sound of stolen memories I guess, and Goshawk stopped screaming entirely. I
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